Grieving - and moving on

I seem to have spent a lot of time in Italy grieving.

I've been grieving for me because of the loss of a job that I loved. It was important to me to get something back from my job, something for my heart and spirit - not just for my bank account. Working in a Montessori high school offered me that in spades.

I've been grieving for my kids. I took them away from their friends. I took them away from the Montessori learning environment that was so important to them.

I've been grieving for the Athena community. With the closure of the school I feel like part of my heart has been ripped out and I worry for the students, the staff and the families who have gained so much from their involvement over the years.

I've been grieving for my friend and for her family. A life wonderfully lived, now ended.

I've been grieving for a way of life lost because we moved to Italy.

But - I've decided it is time to start looking at the half full glass, time to get over myself and time to move on.

So here is what I am grateful for -

I am grateful that I am no longer under such incredible stress at work. I've actually been able to get off the migraine prevention tablets and have only had two migraines since finishing with the meds. I no longer live on antacids or antidepressants.

I am grateful my kids are making friends with children from so many different countries, cultures and ethnicities. I am glad they have a chance to learn new languages, with purpose. I am glad that they can experience a different way of learning and also learn to appreciate what they had at Athena.

I am grateful that Athena ever was - and so pleased to have ever had the chance to become involved. I'm also glad I was not at Athena when it closed - it was hard enough to cope with from here. It would have been even more personally devastating to have been there in that moment. I am glad I learned so much about myself from my involvement. I am glad that others may have learned lessons too that will allow the next Athena to flourish. I am grateful to hear from old students how Athena helped them and strengthened them. I am thrilled that my friend may get to do something way less stressful but just as rewarding.

I am grateful to have known and worked with Debbie. I am honoured to have called her a friend.

And I am especially grateful to have this new opportunity in life - a life in Italy. I have joined a local gym club and now go to Pilates classes once a week and a Latin dance workout class once a week. I have got back to quilting and I'm currently working to complete a hand appliqué quilt that I haven't touched in 15 years. I'm working on two other quilt designs. One quilt has been inspired by the art of an ex-student, and one inspired by my own art. I'm working on a painting.

I'm working on learning how to be me. I've spent much of my life valuing myself by how much others valued me. I have always been very good at giving of myself but lousy at admitting the need for help - or accepting it. I can't bear for other people to think that I am somehow not good enough or not able to cope.

I'm grateful that I am taking the time to learn to accept my faults and to stop beating myself over the head constantly with them. I still have a long way to go with this! I am learning how to put myself first sometimes. I'm still struggling with this too!!

I am grateful that I have the time to do things for me.

I am grateful that I have so much to looking forward to;

• exploring Italy and Europe
• visiting family and friends in Europe and the UK
• studying art history
• getting fitter and healthier
• developing my painting, quilting, book making
• learning new craft skills
• seeing Michelangelo's work up close!
• making new friends,

and most of all...

• having friends and family to stay

So - when are you coming to visit????

Skiing in the Italian Alps - How Did You Start 2009?

Through karate Barry has got to know a really lovely Italian gentleman - and I use the term in all its meanings - called Adriano. At the end of year karate dinner we also got to meet his wife Nicolleta. These people have been kindness itself to us and made life much, much easier than it might have been. At their insistence we went to visit them for a days skiing at a little ski field in the Valle Aosta.

With friend Anna visiting from London, we drove through fog for nearly two hours and then through a tunnel - and suddenly - there were the alps. Another half hour climb and we reached the 'Petite Prince Hotel' to a very warm welcome from Adriano, Nicolleta and their two dogs, Stella the Newfoundland and Archimede the mut - who were also holidaying with them. (You can do that in italy.)

The field was magical - at least it was today.

It was a complete circus getting boots, skis and poles for everyone - and we ALMOST abandoned the entire effort at this point - but not to be defeated by the usual Italian lack of organisational ability we persevered!

Caitlin, Anna and Fiona waiting - cheerfully at this stage - to get ski gear.

Finally fully outfitted we headed for the (baby) slopes.

It didn't take long at all for Anna, Fiona and Barry to rediscover their snow feet - a little longer for the kids to find their's for the first time... still within a few hours we were all flying down the slopes like we'd been doing it for years - rather than it being years since we'd last done it!

Caitlin tearing up the slopes.

Alan relaxing back into his skis. We hope you all had a great New Years Eve - and wish you all a totally magnificent 2009!
Buon Anno from la Bella Italia!

Another Place You Have to Visit - When You Visit Us...

Alan, Barry and I went sightseeing... and following some really good advice we headed off to find the little Lago D'Orta, just west of Lago Maggiore. The particular town we visited is called Orta San Giulio, on the east coast of the lake. This little village is soooo picturesque and so tiny and old. It is hard to believe that people really live here - it seems too quaint for real life.

This is the first view you get as you walk down into the town - visitors must park at the top! Some of the locals are allowed to drive down if they can park in their house/garage. You can see the town traffic light on the right of the picture.

And then as you wander on down the road you find your first church...

And then the roads start to really get narrow...

As you make your way along the little alleys you find interesting doorways at almost every turn.

The place is very popular with artisits and has a very good art gallery as well as many large sculptures by Arnaldo Pomodore on display around the town. The guy below seems to be enjoying the scene and the picture is truly gorgeous.

And the little island in the middle of the lake is also worth a visit - although we're leaving that for warmer weather.

Christmas - With a Kiwi/Italian/Irish/Greek/South African Spin

~The family with the addition of 'Lucky'~

We had Christmas - it wasn't at home and it wasn't the same but it was Christmas none the less...

~The cutest Christmas Pixie ever~

Things we missed

• family - we missed you Les, John, Karen, Iris, Rory and Tottie.
• old friends - and you all know who you are {{{{{big hugs}}}}}
• ham - at between 18 and 30 euro (NZ$45-75) a kilo we gave the big chunk on the bone a miss this year
• sunshine warmth and the thought of summer holiday
• traveling to Kinloch
• Santa - he's got a different name in Italy

Things we got instead

• a cuzzie! - one of my Irish cousins Stephanie was hee with us
• Greeks bearing gifts - Stephie's husband Yiorgos and her youngest daughter Haroula
• new friends - Penny (a kiwi woman I met in Milan) and her husband Clinton (from South Africa) with their two girls aged 6 and 8 joined us for Christmas dinner and stayed the night before heading to France on Boxing Day.
• SNOW! but not until Christmas night.
• Babbo Natale - ie Santa in Italian

~Steph, Yiorgos and the Christmas table~

Santa was very good to us all (regardless of Poste Italiana's efforts) and we are all now outfitted in trousers and jackets for the snow. Alan is getting a pistol for Airsoft which should arrive within the week and Caitlin got a new set of professional stilts by Voltige. The adults got a home theatre surround sound system that makes movie watching quite an experience - we watched a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon (Boxing Day) and I really jumped!

~Keep unwrapping - only six layers more to go~

It has been a peculiar Christmas. The city lights and Santa are much the same as at home except that the lights spell out 'Auguri' and Santa is called 'Babbo Natale'. The carols are the same and even if the words sound a little different the sentiment's the same.

This year I wasn't rushing around organising heaps of stuff at school and going brain crazy in the process - this year I was rushing around doctors and hospitals and worrying about Caitlin's health. Caitlin's appendicitis/peritonitis lead on to a bout of low blood pressure that saw her passing out with little or no warning resulting in a few bumps to her head. Blood tests revealed anemia and and unusual thyroid readings - leading to more blood tests - this time at the hospital (I'm not going over that story - suffice it to say that tantrums and tears work wonders in achieving service) and ultrasound scans of her throat area. We go back to the doctor next week to assess the results - however all looks mostly okay. Not sure about Caitlin but my stress levels are certainly more comfortable now.

Boxing Day was very quiet and so is today, as Caitlin went to the hotel with her new cousin Haroula on Christmas night and hasn't been seen since. The 'Greeks' are off to Foxtown (http://www.foxtown.ch/info.php?lingua=en&centro=mendrisio) again today and we'll see them later this afternoon. The shopping is just too good up there - especially now the sales are on.

~One pooped Christmas pooch~

Really Big Snow Day - Work and School Closed

Just a quick post to show you what we wakened up to this morning and - now at 2.30pm - it is still snowing.

Wow - It Really is Breath Taking Here

One from Patch and Alan this evening ...

Today it was necessary to drag Alan out of his dumgeon (spelling mistake intended!). Dad decided that fresh air was in order - so off the boys went on an adventure - with camera in hand. The two headed up Campo Dei Fiori - the local national park beside Varese. For those in the know this is above Sacro Monte, the small village nestled on the side of the cliff.




Here is Alan in about four foot of snow - the day or two before we go and buy snow boots, proper coats, hats and gloves! This is six days since the last snow fall. The view is due west; the mountain/peak/hill to the left is hiding the sun.

This is a small village - still to be identified - to the north of Campo dei Fiori - suspected to be 'Castello Cabiagliano'.

And beautifully caputured in the setting sun is Sacro Monte itself... isn't it stunning.

Another Stitch - or three - in Life's Rich Tapestry

I grew up with LOTS of sayings which usually began with "as my mother/sister/grandmother would have said...". One of my favourites sayings has always been "another stitch in life's rich tapestry" which I believe is attributable to my Aunty Betty. On occasion I have wished for a slightly less brightly coloured and complicated pattern in the tapestry of my life!

This week Caitlin added a few more stitches to her own life tapestry and to her tummy. She'll be bringing home an Italian appendectomy scar. What started out on Tuesday as a dose of the cold the family were all sharing turned into appendicitis by Thursday evening. Antibiotics from the doctor seemed to settle everything down and after another visit to the doctor on Saturday morning (not an emergency visit - they just work weird hours here) she seemed to be well on the mend. The doc said she could return to school but to go to the hospital if the pain got any worse ...

So, Monday morning 8am off to school (no breakfast)...

Monday morning 9.30 I get a phone call to say Caitlin is in pain. I rush up to school and collect her.

"Hospital?"
"Mmm."

We made a quick stop home for directions to the hospital and to pack a bag on the off chance things would not go well. And then we got to experience A and E in Italy... Because Caitlin wasn't rolling around in agony they didn't seem too concerned with her - more concerned about who and how the account was to be paid... Still - after 7 hours, blood tests, poking, prodding, watching the italian world go by, getting lost, and doing it all in Italian - a surgeon decided it might be best to just take the appendix out. By 5pm we were on our way to a local private hospital set in a beautiful villa, surrounded by snow. 'La Quiete' - quite a picture.

A meeting at 7pm with the head of surgery resulted in a theatre booking for 1pm Tuesday afternoon... drips, intravenous antibiotics and still no food. Turned out Caitlin actually had peritonitis - and a high threshold of pain.

Two more days in hospital and finally Thursday morning she got to eat real food - dry bread - tasted like nectar of the gods to her! Then a visit from the Professor Thursday afternoon and we got to go home about 4.30pm. Happy, happy, happy dance - well - slow shuffle really.

We are now safely home, ensconced in our own beds once more and looking forward to finally getting the christmas tree up for 2008. We're a long way from Christmas '07 and the tapestry is much richer and more vibrant for the experience.

Cheers all!